Corgi Yaps Loudly on Cell Phone at Crowded Restaraunt

This Corgi was spotted in Los Feliz  drinking  martini after martini at approximately 11am this morning while spitting taco salad all over the other patrons and yapping loudly on his cell phone.  Several waiters and a manager asked him politely to step outside. Corgi just spewed guacamole at them while he screamed into the phone about how he wanted it to match Van Halen's '82 Backstage Rider, "I DON'T WANNA SEE ANY BROWN ONES, BITCH, YOU HEAR ME????? NO BROWN ONES!!!!!!!"
The maitre d' finally picked the corgi up by his scruff and began to escort him out. "YO, I'M LEAVIN' JEEVES! YOU COAT TAIL WEARING MOTHER FUCKER!" the corgi said. He peed on Tinkerbell and Paris Hilton and stumbled out of the restaurant and into his Tesla and drove off.

Record Store Employee Corgi Berates Guy for buying Steely Dan record

This Corgi, a recent Bard graduate took it upon himself to roll his eyes at a man trying to buy Aja on vinyl.
"Whatever," he said to the guy, "this band is so beat."
The man did his best to ignore him, but the corgi continued to chastise him and call him a vapid, mindless sheep. When the man failed to react, Corgi took the album and threw it across the record store. But then he got excited because it looked like frisbee so he chased it.
"NO CORGI NO!" yelled the man, "THAT'S A LIMITED EDITION REMASTERED ALBUM SIGNED BY DONALD FAGEN!"
After failing to catch the record the corgi lost his shit and started yelling at the dude, "I WAS A FILM MAJOR, DUDE, I WAS A FILM MAJOR!" Then he peed on the man and put the Clash on.

Image from Obsessive Corgi Disorder

Corgi Stands in Express Line at Supermarket with 70 Items

This Corgi caused quite a ruckus at the Kroger this afternoon when he stood in line at the express aisle toting a cart full of peanut butter and Cool Whip. He had been watching an Extreme Couponing marathon the whole night before and came into the supermarket with a giant bagful of expired coupons. When the check out girl tried to explain to him that the coupons were not only expired, but they were for oil changes at Jiffy Lube, the corgi became violent. He opened every single container of Cool Whip and began flinging at people in line and all the check out clerks. The security guy came running, "No Corgi, No!  You stop flinging that Cool Whip." So Corgi stopped and opened a jar of peanut butter and peed in it. Everyone stared at him. "Why you gotta stare?" he asked, "I'm a corgi yo! We pee on shit. That's what we do." And with that, he left screaming, "this place is beat," and as he ran out the door, he stole a jar of Ovaltine from an unsuspecting customer.

Corgi Pees on R. Kelly

7 o' clock in the morning and I'm waking up with a corgi sitting next to me in a strange bed. I can't even remember the night before, but I can't believe this corgi's not you. I try to get up, put my clothes back on,  but the corgi has me all tied up. I try to break free, but the corgi just laughs, and I get more and more tangled up as I struggle. Corgi says "you can't go baby," and I say, "corgi let me go!" and the corgi says "no!"  I tell the corgi, "corgi, I gotta get home, let me out of these leashes." But corgi just laughs, he laughs and he laughs. Until he hears his owners coming home. "Quick," he tells me, "get in the closet," but I can't get into the closet cause my legs are all tied up. So the corgi pushes me into the closet and I'm yelling and I'm screaming, "NO CORGI NO!!!!" but corgi just pees on me. And now I'm trapped in the closet, covered in corgi pee. Corgi pee. Corgi pee.











Image from OMG blog

Corgi Makes Whole Family put Sour Milk in their Cheerios

This Corgi purposely left a full gallon of milk out on the window sill in the summer heat all night long. In the morning, before the family woke up, he put the spoiled milk back in the fridge. The coffee, the cheerios, the eggs and the pancakes were all ruined. The family was so upset and they cried. But corgi just laughed and trotted off to drink his coffee and read the paper.

Corgi Licks Frosting off Wedding Cake

This corgi showed up to a wedding with one of the bridesmaids in Newport, Rhode Island this past weekend. While the bride and groom were having their first dance, the corgi snuck over to the far corner of the ballroom and began to lick the side of the cake. Nobody noticed as they were all watching the dancing couple, when all of a sudden,  out of the corner of her eye, the bride spied the corgi stealing a lick, "NO CORGI, NO!!!!!" She screamed and ran across the ballroom to pull the corgi off the cake. But it was too late. As soon as he saw her coming, he snatched the bride and groom off the top of the cake then peed on it.   "CORGI, YOU RUINED THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY OF MY LIFE" the bride screamed. Corgi just laughed, put on his sweater, swaggered out of the venue,  hopped into his beamer and sped off with the Maid of Honor.



 
image from a place to love dogs. 

Corgi Gets Rowdy at San Francisco Pride Parade

This corgi from Utah came to San Francisco today with one thing in mind. He wanted to make sure that California never went the way of New York and other East Coast states. He walked around with giant picket signs that said things like, 'PROTECT MARRIAGE-- CORGIS FOR HETEROSEXUALS RIGHTS TO MARRIAGE AND NO ONE ELSE'S" and "CORGIS LOVE THE GAYS-- YEAH RIGHT SUCKERS!" and "I ONLY SUPPORT SNIFFING GIRLS' BUTTS... UNLESS YOU'RE A GIRL"
But then corgi saw this swing that played Donna Summer as it moved. He bit one giant Bear's ankle to get to it and jumped up and kicked another man in the nuts. No one could believe what an asshole he was being, but everyone was like, "well yeah, it's a Corgi..." so he spent the rest of the day in the disco swing, swinging along and singing "Love To Love You," and refused to let anyone else take a ride, then as he was leaving, rather than thanking everyone for letting him swing for 6 hours straight, he peed right on the rainbow flag and made a remark about all lesbians being so gay.













Picture taken from 100 Million Castaways

Corgi Mocks His Owner

He convinced her that she'd look hot in these pants.


 

Corgi Pulls Nigerian Scam

This corgi knocked on my door this morning and when I answered, he looked up and said, "Good Evening Sir or Madam, I am a very high official from Lagos, and I have very sad news for you. It seems that your very distant uncle whom you never knew has died. However, he left a large sum of money for you and all you must do is give me your bank account number and sign these papers and hand me over $2000 for processing I will deposit 30 trillion dollars right into your checking account."

"I don't think so Corgi." I told him.

"Fine," he said, "but you'll be sorry as the last person who ignored my solicitation suffered from hemorrhoids, nuclear holocaust, giardia, and chlamydia."

"Just leave Corgi, don't come back again."

Corgi peed on my mezuzah and left.







Image from Corgi Care Training Center